Ok ok ok. I give in. I have gone an entire month without blogging and to no one's fault but my own. Unless you count Netflix and that addicting House of Cards show. Oh. And Maddy. Maddy has caused this Mama to start "nesting" - scrubbing carpets, the bathroom, my bedroom, her bedroom, the kitchen, rearranging her clothes in the drawers and in the closet (to the point of changing which hangers her stuff was on because my mind was that off the deep end). And now, I'm ironically calm. Or at least attempting to be as my hands feel like I have arthritis and my feet look like we took her dad's bike pump and pumped a quart of air into them.
So pregnancy has been testing my sanity. Nine times out of ten I stop myself and ask why the hell I am cleaning the stove top again. Or cleaning all her bottles. Again. Or rearranging her diaper bag(s) again. And everyone I speak to tells me I need to rest, I need to relax. This would be great if my mind weren't running a million miles per hour. Maybe it's anxiety that stems from the approaching "single mom" world I'm about to venture into. Despite having an amazing group that supports me being a mom (including Maddy's daddy) I can't help but panic or think of things I have to get done. Typing this, I've just realized I still haven't put together her stroller successfully - that shit is definitely a two people job. And don't get me started on the fact that my car's interior looks dirtier than my Ford Escort that I had in high school. I'm going to put a kid in that? But I don't even know where the closest car wash is.
But the last month hasn't all been stressful to the point of me going from brunette to gray. That'll happen post-baby and once my daughter hits her teen years. The past month I've been so grateful in many aspects including my baby shower thrown by my sisters and mom. They went above and beyond - as did all my friends & family members. I was grateful that some of Maddy's paternal relatives made an appearance, too.
Baby showers go by so fast. I seriously felt like I walked in, opened presents, ate (kind of) and walked out only to go home and unpack everything and then divy up the loot between what stays at mom's house and what goes to dad's. It was a beautiful day though and I'm again, beyond grateful. Our daughter -- beyond spoiled! I literally came home and cried my eyes out, completely overwhelmed.
We are approaching week 36. Aka, I've officially begun to get nervous every single time I go to the bathroom. I'm paranoid! Completely paranoid! Every time I wake up in the middle of the night I think "Is this it? Is this my water breaking" and then of course, I finally have Braxton Hicks contractions. I'll tell you more about that later (look for the story about me thinking I was in labor tomorrow morning!)
Mommy & Daddy are getting along great (knock on wood!) and work is going well, too. I am overall in a really good mood and just really anxious to meet my little girl!
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