Baby 101 & Done

I woke up Maddy's not-so-morning-needs-eight-full-hours-of-sleep Dad this morning for a baby class. Parenting 101 or First Time Parents. Whatever the title was. This time I was feeling a lot more confident than that Breastfeeding class I attended. Not only did I have the other half responsible for our little one alongside of me, but I knew where I was going, the whole intro process... I was ready.

First issue - getting Dad out of bed. 

Second issue - "We have to take pillows to the class" But all his pillows suck and we were both kind of embarrassed. (We left them in the car)

Third issue - it was starting to snow and we were taking my car. Awesome.

We get to the class and we're both exhausted. I'm thinking "This will be great - If I don't fall asleep." We do the intros, which are always done by the women as the men sit there and get introduced by the woman. Your name, person who is with you, where you're delivering and your due date. I'm the only one in the class to not address my support person as their husband. He is my baby's father. The looks come my way. We smile back at the faces staring at us and are welcomed to the class.

First part is pretty standard - where the bathrooms are, the exits in case of emergency and oh my God, she brought us Dunkin Donuts. Don't mind if I do. Then we kick it into high gear starting with contractions and different birthing methods and then, 15 minutes before lunch watching a woman squirt out her kid. We do a breathing exercise next on these mats on the floor. Maddy's Dad makes me laugh so hard that I'm convinced that's what contractions feel like. Just as long as I don't pee my pants.

We get an hour break for lunch where we head across the street to the Ale House and I down a chicken parm sandwich almost as fast as he eats his open faced Reuben. But I want ice cream and we have 20 minutes to kill. Chick-Fil-A it is. Yes, it's still snowing. Yes, I am that girl that eats ice cream whenever. Screw that summertime only, nonsense!

Round 2 starts out in the birthing center. We've seen this place two months ago after I got woozy at work and needed to be checked out to make sure everything was okay but it was nice to revisit. We check out the L&D room and then the recovery room, see where our beloved family will be camping out waiting until they play the Lullaby music over the hospital loudspeakers to announce a new baby has been born (it's the cutest thing ever!) and then where the OR is for any C-sections. This is my favorite part because it makes me want to jump in the bed and say "Let's do this thing!" but I'm also overly anxious to meet my daughter and with 10 weeks to go it feels like forever.

Last part is where it gets real. Pain medication, what happens if you need a C-section, positioning of the baby. This is where I learned the most. And where I decided this baby better come out of my vagina. Yes, I seriously just said that. Seriously. We jump on the mat for another 15 minute exercise where we practicing positioning for pushing (without actually pushing) and I get a little tailbone massage to demonstrate what to do if I'm having labor pains. Suggestion for next class: It's not just the tailbone that needs a massage. Homegirl would have preferred the shoulders and mid-back, too, but whatever!

Class dismissed. We survived with minimal laughing and more maturity than I thought we would have. Nothing felt better though, then kicking off the shoes and taking a nap on the couch with the cat after class.  With that, I've completed all my classes and now the only thing left to do is wait until I can start Mommy101 -- a real life experience no class will ever prepare me for!

10 Weeks Feels Like 10 Years,

I'm A Working Mom.

During my breast feeding class we went around the room and mommies shared how long they planned to take for their leave. All but one of us were first time moms. I sat and listened as people explained they'd be using their full FMLA leave (more power to them) and one who was lucky enough to be a teacher due in April who wouldn't have to return until the next school year Side Note: I am enviously hating her. Then there was me. 

"I guess it depends on how I deliver, but I'll be taking 6-7 weeks for vaginal and 8-9 weeks for a C-Section" Sorry for the guys who read this who may have just winced at the word "vaginal." I still get bright red having to say that word in front of my male coworkers.

I felt like the whole room gasped and stopped breathing for a second. The lady leading the class looked mortified. I looked confused as anything. Was that the wrong answer? What the hell?! I thought this was supposed to be along the lines of an AA meeting - you know, a non-judgement zone.

I can tell you right now the looks increasingly became more concerned as I proceeded to mention that my sanity depended on returning back to work and that I would go crazy not having my schedule. Schedule is a word that, although you try and create with your infant, does not always go as planned (or so I am constantly reminded). Leaving work every day and feeling accomplished is a small little thing that goes a long way in my book. Recognized or not, just knowing I put in a solid 8+ hours to drive top line sales gets me more turned on than Maddy's Dad - yes, I just went there and yeah, that was actually a little dramatic. But I hope you understand what I'm saying here.

If you don't, it's that work is important to me. People keep asking me when I'm going to start my maternity leave as Maddy's due date gets closer and I just joke around that I'll be in labor taking a SEPTA train to the hospital; working up until the little lady's ready to make her debut. For the record, I will be mortified if my water breaks at work and that actually happens but it's funny to joke about it as long as the universe doesn't take it seriously.

I want to be able to juggle the hats of working woman and mom. I watched my mom (and dad) both work full-time to support my sisters and I. Being able to provide for my daughter and show her what work ethic is is one of the most valuable lessons I plan on teaching her. I'm lucky her dad is just as driven by hard-work as I am. It should terrify all other parents that we will have the most organized, dedicated future CEO of a company as our child ;)

Did I expect anyone to sympathize for me when I mentioned how long I planned to take to recover and adjust to motherhood? No way. I don't expect to give that to myself. I have nothing against stay at home mommies. In fact, I don't know how they do it. But now you have the perspective of a workaholic mommy who, as much as I will literally adore every tiny thing about my daughter, will absolutely need to return to work as soon as I can for some consistency and stability in my day-to-day!

Queen of the Post Its and To-Do Lists,

Load Up the UHaul, Baby!

Moving in general sucks. It always does. You're scrambling to find someone who will help you carry your dirty laundry up flights of steps and it's always a pain in the butt. Nine times out of the last ten experiences I've had with moving, I usually end up crying or screaming at someone because it's not being done the way I want it to.

Now try doing it while you're pregnant. Twice. 

The first time, back in November wasn't that bad. I was moving home and having everything taken care of for me on a regular basis - including my laundry and all my meals. Talk about luxury! The suckfest was that I was 2 hours away from work and my doctors and my baby dad (which obviously wouldn't be feasible after little Mads arrived). So I searched high and low for about 2 months until I found the place I'm currently living in.

Except now I'm 7 months pregnant and extra cranky and bigger and my back actually hurts. Not only did I now have to move everything 2 hours BACK to the area where I was living before, but I had a storage unit that had stuff in it, too. Praise Jesus for my mother, baby's father and his dad. [Grand]parents of the year award to them!

I managed to get everything unpacked and squared away in just 2.5 days - except for Comcast. That's still a pain in my butt and dealing without cable and internet for a week is torture. Pretty sure that was the most hormonal experience I've had this far and my yelling at Customer Service topped any preggo outburst I have had.

The best part about this move (besides not crying)?? I have a 2 bedroom apartment now meaning I am actually able to give Maddy a nursery! I can tell you a million times that I was content with the idea of finding a large 1 bedroom apartment and having that just for Maddy and I but if I'm being 100% honest with you, I would have been heartbroken to not have had the opportunity for my first born to put together her nursery.

My older sister hooked me up with my niece's crib and my mom and I put it together. It's a start and it's a really exciting start! It's also safe to say that while in unpacking mode that *drumroll* I'm ready to start nesting! I actually WANT to do my daughter's laundry and put things in drawers and get it all squared away.

Yes, I just said that.

No, I can't believe I did either.

So even though moving sucks more than 95% of things, I'm excited to start my last trimester with this in store. Next weekend we tackle the baby's nursery at her daddy's house :)

Boobies, Party of One.

When my insurance company told me they would front all but 10% of the bill for any of the baby classes I was looking to take, I thought - sign me up! First one on the list: Breastfeeding 101.

Right off the bat, I'm thinking there's no way I'm going to be mature enough for this. Sure, I have boobs (well, now I do anyway) but there was something so weird about sitting around after a 10 hour day at work and watching videos of women breast feeding. Was this even the right thing for me to do or did I want to do it because my mother and sister had?

The class had the option of bringing along a significant other. No way did I want to share this moment with Maddy's Daddy. But as the day got closer, I got a little nervous about showing up somewhere solo. Would people be judging me for being a single mom? I mean, would they know? 

But the day came and like most things related to becoming a parent, you have to put your child's needs first and just "man up." So I walked into the wrong building. Oops. And then trekked across the parking lot in the polar vortex unzipping my jacket halfway through my 1000 foot voyage because I was already sweating. Hormones… real cute. I showed up as one of the last to arrive and out of breath. Seriously, I feel like that's my "thing" during pregnancy.

I scanned the room. Clutch. Only parking available was in the front row. More scanning - everyone has their partner with them. Great. And wait… why did they all have dolls? No one mentioned anything about bringing a doll. I snuck over to my seat and got out my phone. "I'm the only one here alone" was the text I feverishly sent "Baby Dad" before the class began. Luckily one other couple was late so I had about 10 seconds to demand there be ice cream in the freezer before I got home around 9pm. Done.

I skimmed over the 15 sheets of handouts and the first thing I read was "Graze your nipple against your baby's nose" Stop it, right now, hospital. You're drunk. I started to chuckle. What the hell was I about to get myself into? Then the class started. Everyone seemed to ask a decent amount of questions and it wasn't too painfully awkward. And NO you don't all whip out the nip and show the other women in the room (you'd honestly be surprised how many of my friends asked me this!). The woman crying about banana sandwiches and how important breast feeding was to her I probably could have done without -- mostly because I lack self control when other people are overly emotional; myself not included. At the end of the class I was glad I went. I have some literature to catch up on, that's for sure. I do recommend that people go to these classes because it gives you the opportunity to figure out what works for you and what doesn't. No two pregnancies are alike.

That all being said, there was mint chocolate chip waiting for me in the freezer when I got home and a baby dad who asked questions I was able to answer. He seemed proud of me for paying attention & with the choice I will be making to attempt having my kid latch onto my boobies. Hashtag, educated.

Missing My Cute B-cup Bras,