Burnt Chicken Anyone?

I can't cook for shit. I just can't. I'm that girl that's eating Lean Cuisine's and trying to justify in my mind that it's healthy even though I know that it's loaded with sodium and actually just yeah, not good for me. I try. I've tried. And I will continue to try my best to learn how to cook.

A lot of my inability to cook stems from the fact that I just don't want to. What I mean by that is that, I don't want to cook for myself. It's obnoxious. There's always left overs that I put in tupperware containers and let sit in my fridge for 3 days too long until I'm too skeeved out by the idea.

But I keep getting nagged by my mom to start cooking and making meals for the freezer because come baby-time I'm not going to want to do any of that. Got it. Still being stubborn.

The other day, I thought, you know what? I'm not going to go to Iron Hill and get a $14 salad that I can make at home for about $6. So I got all the lovely ingredients and headed home. Chicken and red quinoa salad with granny smith apples and oranges. Easy, easy. Or so I thought. Everything was going really smoothly and I was on the final stages of plating the salad. Hey!  Cut me a break, I work in the food industry and good presentation, even if for yourself, is a must!

That's when I heard it. "There is a fire. There is a fire. Beeeeeeep beeeeeeep beeeeeeep. There is a fire. There is a fire." I looked to my left to see that my chicken decided to combust. I blame that on some hormones pumped into my chicken (or something). The next thing I realized was that my whole apartment was a smokey haze. My house smelled so gross for the next day. I used so much Febreeze that I'm pretty sure my cat & I were gagging constantly on the smell.

Needless to say: I need cooking help. Send me your recipes - preferably ones I can make in my crockpot or in my oven - stovetop need not apply!

Oh. And yeah, my fire alarm talks. It's a guy and it can detect fires but can't shut the hell up. Typical.

Always Freaking Out.

I'm kind of terrified about breast feeding. Yes, I took a class. I got the free pump from my insurance company, got all the gizmo gadgets that attach to it - the bags and everything.

But I'm freaking it out. It's obviously going to feel different and what if she hates my boobs?

So the other morning when my cat decided to jump on me and wake me up after only 4 successful hours of sleep because he needed his Meow Mix wet food mixed in with the remainder of his dry food, I pushed him off. But seeing as how I raised this cat, he's relentless.

He jumped on me but this time on my already tender boobies and then dug his claws in. Yeah, take a moment to cringe because it hurt. Annoyed, I gave him his stupid wet food and crawled back into bed. Annnnd noticed blood coming through my [white] tank top.

So cue me running to the bathroom cleaning it and putting Neosporin all over my whole right boob, grabbing it and crying. Then I started googling "My cat scratched my nipple and I have to breast feed in four weeks." Guess how many results came back? Zero.

Silly story aside, there's a lot of pressure women have to breast feed. I met a woman in my class who was expecting her second but never took a class, was just told "it happens naturally." So if you don't know to basically stick your whole nip basically behind the roof of your kid's mouth you're going to run into like chaffed tots. Pass.

Sure I'm glad I took the class and I really did learn a lot but if I try and like try again even when I want to give up, I'm told it gets easier. That and not stressing about it. I've got 3 weeks to nurse my cat-scratched nipple back to health and hope to goodness gracious it can still deliver the product. Then I'm sure I won't stress about it. Ughhhhh!!